I had met him only once but he made a lasting impression on me! Full of life and all boy, he found the only tiny mud puddle in my front yard and jumped in it with my boys and his older brother! They laughed and ran through that mud pit until it was time to go inside.
With no change of clothes in the diaper bag for him or his older brother, Joel left my house sporting his underwear! I chuckled about this with my husband later that day after the company had left. Little did I know that this would become the only memory I’d have of little Joel.
I don’t always understand the ways of God, nor am I meant too! Isaiah 55: 8-9 says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Joel is one of those cases I don’t understand!
Tuesday July 30th at the tender age of 4, God called little Joel home. My heart broke when I went to the hospital to visit Joel’s parents, Matt and Chrystal, that afternoon. The pain, anguish, and uncertainty filled their faces as they waited to hear the results of a second scan to reveal if Joel had any brain activity after being without oxygen for 45 minutes.
Seeing Joel in that hospital bed brought on a flood of tears! My mind kept picturing one of my own five babes laying there and me having no way to change the circumstances. I tried hard to place myself in Chrystal’s shoes, thinking of something I could possibly say to offer any sort of comfort. No words came, but song did.
“Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name”
The song by Matt Redman is the only thing that cackled through my steady flow of tears. We left the hospital after praying with Matt and Chrystal telling them to keep us posted on any updates.
The update came through a text that night.
I cradled each of my five kids that night while they slept, crying and praying over them. I couldn’t imagine the heartache that Chrystal and Matt were going through at that exact moment.
Monday August 5th was Joel’s memorial service. It was there that I was able to gain a sense of peace and comfort in little Joel’s passing.
Our unanswered prayers to bring Joel back the night of July 30th turned out to be answered prayers for several other families that night as they got the call that their child would gain a new life through Joel’s organs. See Our plan B is always Gods plan A! God answered prayers that night even if they weren’t ours. It was His plan all along!
Chrystal, Joel’s mom, has moved me deeply by her example through all of this! She’s inspirited me to love my kids a little deeper, stop and hold them a little longer before I leave anywhere, and know and trust that God has a plan and purpose for my life and my children’s lives! She radiated His grace to those who came out that night to comfort her. With no tears, she spoke in front of friends and family and inspired others to make a difference in this life; to make our lives count, because we don’t know how much time we have! She said something so profound to me, that I hung on her words for days!
“You just don’t know how strong your faith is until God places you in a situation like this.”
I pray that God strengthens my faith so someday I have the courage to shine as brightly as Chrystal did for God’s glory that night!
The most peace came from a song! “Big House” was played at the end of the memorial service. The pastor speaking reminded us to rejoice in the fact that Joel was playing football in Gods big, big yard with a new glorified body. He was in his Father’s house; a big, big house with lots and lots of room! He was eating at a big, big table with lots and lots of food! A boys dream!
Joel is wrapped in His Creator’s arms. Joel is home! It would be easy to lose heart when thinking that we missed out on a whole lifetime with Joel, but we mustn’t! Our children are lent to us from up above; sometimes for many years, sometimes for just a few! As believers we need to rejoice in the fact that Joel is home, exactly where he was created to be! Also as believers we need to rejoice in the fact that we will see Joel again; and look forward to playing football in that big, big yard with him!
My prayer for everyone reading this is that they too will be in that big, big house with us someday! Do you know Christ? Because He’s your invite into that big, big house!
In His Love,
Lindsey S.
I encourage you to listen to the song “Big House” if you’ve never heard it before! My personal favorite version is on the album: “Great Worship Songs For Kids Summer”. I love it when children sing!!
Verses that comforted me during this difficult time:
But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Luke 18:16
And we know that it in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Lindsey Spiewak 